


Just for Tonight

by Akiko_Natsuko



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Promises, Unspoken words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 10:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: “I love you…” The words so long denied, so longed for hung in the air between them for a moment when he pulled away, both barely breathing as they stared at one another, almost as though they were waiting for some monumental change.





	Just for Tonight

    Ignis didn’t even know what had disturbed his sleep, but he was up and moving even before he’d managed to coerce his eyes into opening, reaching instinctively for the warm body that should have been pressed against his, only to come up empty. The flash of panic that followed chased away the last traces of sleep and he bolted upright. _Noct!_ He had been there when he’d fallen asleep, curled so tightly against him that it would have been impossible to slide a slip of paper between them. And for the first time in days he’d been peaceful, the lines of stress and pain gone, and the smile that Ignis loved so much and saw too little these days had been playing on his lips as he’d kissed Ignis’ chest, falling asleep mumbling something that had been terrifyingly close to the three little words they had forbidden themselves from saying.

    It wasn’t that they didn’t feel that way, but to them those words spoke of a future that was too uncertain right now, and too far away. They didn’t need the words anyway, because they were there in every action and word they exchanged. It was there in the way that Ignis was always there, by his side, at his back, protecting him, supporting him and never expecting anything in return. And it was there in Noctis’ small smile, the one that was for Ignis alone, slightly softer, slightly warmer than the others, and in the way that his eyes would always search for the older man first no matter where they were.

Yes, it was there and yet Noctis had come so close to saying those words tonight…

So, where was he?

    As though summoned by his thoughts, there was a small noise, barely audible over the wind rustling the walls of their tent and at once he knew that was what had roused him. Fumbling for his glasses, he reached out and nudged the lantern to a brighter flame, bathing their tent in warm light just as he slid his glasses into place, and it didn’t take him long to locate the source of the noise or his errant lover.      

_Ah…_

    Noctis had moved over to the far side of the tent, as far away from Ignis’ side as it was possible to get, and the blankets hat were wound tightly around his body, cocooning him, told Ignis that the move had been deliberate. And it didn’t take him long to realise why, watching as a shudder worked its way through Noct’s body, making him scrunch up defensively, another soft noise, now recognisable as a breathless whimper escaping. Ignis felt a pang at the noise, something he had heard far too often in his life, and in the last couple of months…it also explained the distance. Noctis had always been fiercely independent, always trying to handle things by himself, but since Insomnia had fallen that desire had intensified, to a point where it scared Ignis. Not because there was too much at stake for them to risk losing their King, but because he knew that Noct would let himself fall apart before he asked for help, just to stop them from worrying.

Just to stop him from worrying.

   Ignis had learnt a long time ago to watch and wait, to give Noctis a chance to reach out for him, but he had also learnt when to intervene and as another shudder wracked his lover, he knew that this was one of those times. Pushing back his own covers, and trying not to shiver as he crawled out, lips quirking as he remembered how Noct had used that same chill as an excuse to cuddle when they had finally given into the thing blossoming between them, remembering the pleading blue eyes and the smug smile that he wasn’t supposed to have seen as he had let the younger man curl close that first night. Now, it felt wrong not to have Noct curled against him and ignoring the chill he crept across to Noct’s side, reaching for him, fingers brushing lightly against the shoulder he could reach.

“Noct,” he murmured, voice soft and soothing, completely at odds with his tense muscles as he braced himself in case Noctis came to fighting. It wouldn’t be the first time, and they were all on edge these days. Tonight, Noct seemed torn, trying to pull away from the hand on his shoulder, only to lean back into the gentle touch as whatever nightmare was plaguing him sent another violent tremor through his body, and this time Ignis felt as much as he heard the whimper, heart constricting at the sound. “Noct, you’re…” He stopped himself, unable to lie even to offer comfort. He’d been about to say ‘safe’, but how could he when the whole reason they were out here in the middle of nowhere, sleeping in a tent with the Regalia carefully concealed a short distance away, was because Noct was anything but safe. If he was being honest none of them were safe, even if they turned and walked away now it was too late, not that he would ever consider it. Still, it hurt that he couldn’t even give Noct that reassurance and took a deep breath, this time letting his fingers curl tighter against the other’s shoulder. “Noct, I’m here.”

    _I’ll always be here,_ is what he wanted to say, but just like those three words, he knew that he couldn’t promise that, and he hated it. But he was here for now, and for as long as he drew breath he would fight to remain right where he was. It was all he had to give…

    The reaction was slow in coming, whatever nightmare had its claws in Noctis was reluctant to let him go, but slowly Noctis stirred, shivering and immediately seeking out Ignis’ warmth. Ignis welcomed him, slinging an arm around his shoulder and drawing him close, pulling Noct into his lap blankets and all. “Noct?” A sleepy mumble was his only answer, but the way Noctis curled into him, tucking his head under his chin told him that he was coming back to him and he settled, holding him close with one arm, whilst the other hand moved up to play with the ends of his lover’s hair, something that had soothed him for as long as Ignis could remember.

    Noctis was still trembling, moulding himself against Ignis’ chest and the older man knew that he was fully awake when Noctis abruptly stiffened and went to pull away. He didn’t let him. He’d made that mistake once, years ago and it had taken weeks, if not months to repair the damage. For someone who tried to feign indifference, Noct took things to heart and distance now would be disastrous, and he knew that he’d made the right decision when Noctis fought for a second, more out of sheer stubbornness than anything before slumping against him. “Ignis…” He was clutching at Ignis’ front now, grip almost bordering on painful. “Ignis…”

    It seemed to be all that he could say right now, but it was enough. Ignis felt his stomach plummet, realisation settling in. He hadn’t heard Noctis sound this broken, this lost, since a fight weeks ago had left him fighting for his life…he’d been laid there, bleeding heavily, the world slipping in and out of focus around him and Noctis…Noctis had been there, falling apart in a way none of them had ever seen before. Not even the loss of his father, of his home and the weight of his destiny had reduced him to that state. It had been touching and terrifying in equal measure, and Ignis knew that it had been haunting his lover, seeing it in the way Noct hadn’t strayed from his side ever since and the way too-blue eyes would watch him whenever he thought that Ignis was distracted, and in the increased frequency of nightmares disturbing their sleep, but this was the first time he’d had confirmation that he was playing a star role in those same nightmares.

“I’m here, Noct.” It didn’t feel like it was enough, and there was so much more he wanted to say. _You’re safe. I’m here, I’ll always be here…I love you._ It shouldn’t have been enough and maybe for anyone else it wouldn’t have been, but this wasn’t anyone else, and as soon as the words had left his mouth, he felt Noctis relaxing, slumping against him as some of the tension drained away from him. It was a relief, and yet it hurt too, because Ignis knew exactly why those words meant so much to him, he knew just how many people and how much Noctis had lost and he closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to the dark hair.

_I won’t become one of them._

    He could make the promise in the safety of his own thoughts though, and he repeated it now, fierce and desperate at once. _I can’t leave him behind,_ his heart constricted at the mere thought of it and he was barely aware of the way his hold had tightened, missing the way Noctis lifted his head for a second, peering up at him with wild eyes.

    They remained like that for a few minutes, just holding each other. Noctis needing the contact, the reassurance that whatever he had seen in his nightmares wasn’t real and Ignis needing to feel him relaxing, the white-knuckled grip slowly loosening, slack fingers curling against his chest. In fact, Ignis was starting to wonder if Noct had fallen asleep, knowing just how tired he was after the days of constant moving and fighting, and he was just trying to convince himself to move and check, wanting to get them both comfortable even if he was reluctant to release Noctis even for a second. However, he had barely shifted when those fingers tightened, nails scratching lightly over his skin and he instantly froze, pinned in place by blue eyes.

“Ignis…”

“Yes?”

“Can you say it?” Ignis felt his breath catch at the nervous question. He didn’t need anything else to know what Noctis was asking for, because he recognised the desperate longing in his partner’s eyes, the fear. It was the same expression he had worn when they had first broached the topic of what lay between them, but there was something more, a need…a level of belief, of trust, that threatened to shake Ignis to the core.

_I love you._

    The words they had forbidden themselves from saying. The words they had both come so close to saying, far too many times...the words he was almost positive he had heard Noctis whisper to him just before he had slipped under, his wounds too much to bear.

“Noct…”

“Just for tonight.” Noctis cut across his half-hearted protest, fingers pressing against him allowing him to feel how just how badly he was trembling.  “Please…” Ignis’ resolve had been weak before, but that shaky plea broke it and he let out a breathless laugh.

“Are you sure?” He still had to ask, knowing that they were letting the genie out of the bottle, unsure if either of them would be able to keep it to ‘just for tonight.’ No, he knew that they would. There was still too much at stake, the future too far away for them to tease themselves with that hope just yet… but just for tonight. Gods, he wanted it. Too much possibly, and he realised that he wasn’t sure what he would do if Noctis thought better of it now, but he needn’t have worried, because Noctis leant up, kissing the underside of his chin before murmuring.

“Please…” It was a plea, but it was said with the same resolve that Noctis had decided to keep going, to keep fighting, and it was enough and this time when Noctis went to kiss his chin, Ignis tilted his head, meeting him halfway.

“Yes ‘highness,” he murmured when they parted. But he couldn’t just say it, not right now and feeling those too-bright eyes tracing his every move, he shifted, Noctis moving with him willingly as he moved them down until they were lying down. Noctis went to try and fix the covers, but Ignis reached out to stop him, twining their fingers together and squeezing lightly, waiting for Noctis to meet his gaze once more and holding it. Like this it was impossible to miss the uncertainty that flicked across his partner’s face, chased by a trace of impatience that almost had Ignis smiling.

“Ignis….”

“Let me do this my way,” Ignis whispered, and after a brief hesitation Noctis nodded, letting himself relax, still watchful but trusting. It was always overwhelming to see that trust, to know how much power he held over Noctis. It was why he wanted to take his time with this, and why he wanted to do it right, because these words…they meant so much, too much perhaps. _And it might be our only chance…_ He firmly squashed the small voice, leaning forward to capture Noctis’ lips, pouring everything he had into the kiss, refusing to let those thoughts in. Instead he let himself sink into the sensation of Noctis surging up to meet him, the power that constantly danced beneath his King’s skin now playing between them as Noctis’ control wavered, it was terrifying and thrilling all at once, but he wasn’t afraid. Because this was Noctis, his Noct…he closed his eyes, feeling him, tasting him, letting it all well up inside. “I love you…” The words so long denied, so longed for hung in the air between them for a moment when he pulled away, both barely breathing as they stared at one another, almost as though they were waiting for some monumental change.

    Noctis broke the silence first, a breathless chuckle escaping and if it had a slightly hysterical edge then neither of them mentioned it. Ignis wasn’t much better, relief and a strange, floaty feeling engulfing him. It was underwhelming and overwhelming all at once. Slowly he opened his eyes, finding Noctis staring up at him, a wealth of emotions in his eyes, moisture gathering in the corners and Ignis swallowed, leaning in to kiss him again. “I love you,” he whispered again, the words so natural, so warm that he couldn’t imagined not saying them again and again and he had to remind himself that it was just for tonight.

“I love you too….” Noct’s reply was soft, audible only due to their closeness and yet to Ignis it felt as though he had shouted it to the world. He wasn’t sure if it was because they had been waiting so long, or if the dancing magic had amplified it. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was the words, and if they only had tonight to say them, well he would just have to make the most of the time they had left.

“I know,” he replied, letting the words sink under his skin, burrowing deep and finally he smiled, soft and warm. _I always knew._ He stole another kiss, deliberately keeping it brief, feeling the soft huff as he pulled away, earning a pout from his partner. He wasn’t done though, and placing a pacifying kiss on Noct’s chin, finding the tiny scar from a childhood scrap, before moving lower, working his way down Noct’s neck with a line of butterfly kisses. It was something that had always driven Noctis wild, but today it was the words, so softly spoken that he might have thought that he imagined them, that had him breathless beneath Ignis. ‘ _I love you’._ Ignis pressed the words into Noct’s skin with each kiss, moving lower, determined to ingrain them in every inch of his partner’s skin before the night was over and the words were locked back beneath a wall of duty and expectation.

_I love you._


End file.
